Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
