I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
