it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I love you. Go after that dick
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
soo... how was my night?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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