The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
