I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
