If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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