Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
