so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
