when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
