just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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