i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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