So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
