She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
