I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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