Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So many bounce houses so little time
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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