If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
