She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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