Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
