wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
