it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
