They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
