YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
