it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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