i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
