Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
