I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize