so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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