I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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