So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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