She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
