I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize