Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
