Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
