ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Randomize
