is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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