No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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