i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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