And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
