Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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