My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
