Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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