So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
