Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
