today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
