(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The beer is more important than you right now.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
