is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
