i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
