I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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