This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
