I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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