How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
