Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
